It took years of self-enquiry (and many modalities) to identify how I’d been acting from low self-worth for much of my life.
Without becoming aware of how we act from low self-worth, we remain in a holding pattern, living an ego-driven, limited version of ourselves.
Our work is to identify the subtle and insidious ways that low self-worth is dominating our lives so we can operate from the truth:
Worthiness is innate, but self-worth is a practice.
Here I share 3 ways you can identify low self-worth and call back your power.
Low Self-Worth In Lack of Discipline
A lack of discipline often comes from a lack of clarity about what TRULY fulfils us.
When we are connected to what would truly fulfil us, we can become disciplined to create it.
But to begin with, low-self worth prevents us from exploring what truly fulfils us.
Subconsciously, we suspect that, maybe, we don’t deserve it. ‘Who am I to be truly fulfilled?’
We might make excuses that we have responsibilities and priorities in the way… and that one day we’ll connect with what is more meaningful to us.
But, beneath this is the fear that in discovering and claiming what truly fulfils us, we will dismantle our current, known, ‘safe’ reality.
In Magnetic Self-Worth: Making It Your Default State, I describe the process of gaining clarity on your true desires. This is the prerequisite to cultivating healthy discipline.
“It is in submitting ourselves to a discipline that we become truly free and capable of real self-expression otherwise our creative energy is not sufficiently directed to accomplish anything” – Tantra Illuminated.
Low Self-Worth In A Lack Of Trust
A lack of trust is what underpins much of our anxiety and sense of separation.
It is often superstition that is behind a lack of trust – a superstition that there is a right/wrong, good/bad path and that we are in danger of making an ill-fated choice.
Low self-worth and superstition are closely related, they are both predicated on the fear that we are excluded from being divinely supported and guided.
Low self-worth and superstition deny the universal truth that no matter what path we take we are still ‘good’ people and will still be guided toward what truly serves us.
Some of the ways a lack of trust shows up are:
-Asking multiple people for their advice and feedback, drowning out your innate wisdom
-Playing out scenes in your head of how you need to behave in a given future scenario to control an outcome
-Second-guessing your ability to make the right decision, being swayed by the ‘I should’ voice rather than trusting your initial impulse
Self-worth is a practice of learning to trust that ‘good’ is wanted for us. And learning to trust requires us to become AWARE of anything we think, say and do that is driven by superstition.
Low Self-Worth In Not Expressing True Needs
In my personal experience, I’ve become aware of two main reasons we don’t express our needs:
-We judge our needs as unreasonable or unrealistic so we make them wrong and deny we have those needs
-If the needs cannot be met we’ll feel rejected which will seem to confirm unworthiness
Non-Violent Communication teaches us that it is a gift to share our needs, just as it is a gift to receive the non-violent expression of needs from another person.
The purpose of non-violent communication is to create space for everyone to get their needs met and ‘make life wonderful’ for everyone.
We are hardwired to want to meet someone’s needs, if we can, so an unexpressed need becomes like an unshared gift.
So, we get to reframe our needs – from ‘needy’ and burdensome, to an opportunity to connect deeper.
This way, we shift from making our needs about us, to making it about connection.
And this dismantles the ego voices that tempt us to believe in our unworthiness.
If you need the structure, tools and support to magnetise your true desires, click HERE to find out more about 1:1 coaching with me.