Practising radical self-worth means to intentionally infuse the energy of worthiness into every aspect of our daily lives.
The only thing blocking us from embodying worthiness is when we’ve subscribed to beliefs that anything about us, physically or emotionally, is ‘wrong’.
Here I share the radical self-worth practices that unsubscribed me from beliefs of wrongness so I could embody a greater sense of worthiness, wholeness and confidence.
I Stopped Making My Lower Energy & Moods Wrong
[Before I sat to write this post I had been in a funk for four days, feeling creatively blocked and totally unmotivated. I had to practice what I preach. So I quit forcing productivity, I lay naked in the sun on my deck listening to Juliet Allen’s podcast, voiced a 16-minute WhatsApp message to my bestie to voice the chaos in my mind, danced in my living room, ate a F-ton of pasta and journalled the shit out of my frustration.
My radical self-worth practice required allowing myself to be blocked and focusing on self-care, until some space cleared and I felt energised again. I had to first accept that nothing was ‘wrong’ about low energy or stuckness, that my worthiness is unchanging and not defined by my productivity].
Radical self-worth means I am conscious of thinking or speaking about my lower energy states as something that’s wrong with me.
I allow the full spectrum of energy and emotion, which sometimes, I experience in just one day – the wildness of being a woman.
Becoming the witness of all emotions means I remain in my power, owning the experience as I move through it, neither indulging it, nor distracting myself from what needs attention.
In any moment we have at our disposal the power to attend to what’s coming up, move energy and create space for more of how we desire to feel.
Accepting and witnessing ourselves in every mood and energy and making none of it wrong is an act of unconditional self-love.
I Stopped Making My Body Wrong
The first time I bought a pair of jeans one size too big was when I finally embraced the fluctuations of my body.
I was tired of making my body wrong for being swollen before my bleed, tired of wishing it would cooperate and conform to my ‘ideal’ mid-cycle size.
Instead, I made my jeans size ‘wrong’ for not accomodating my body during the most sensitive time of my cycle.
Each time I wear those jeans (now at all times of my cycle, because – comfort!) I’m reminded how I’ve learned to honour and support my body and how I’ve UNsubscribed from the notion that my body, which gifted me this life and works tirelessly for me, could ever be an inconvenience.
I Stopped Making My Needs Wrong
In 3 Ways To Identify Low Self-Worth I spoke about the two main reasons we don’t express our needs, one of which is we judge our needs as unreasonable or unrealistic and then make them wrong.
Having needs and expressing them does not make us ‘needy’, it makes us connected to our worthiness of having those needs met – if they are true for us.
The relationship between feeling worthy and knowing our needs is interesting because it’s not a linear process.
For me, exploring what my true needs were seemed to come before I felt worthy of having my true needs met. I was more connected to my values than my needs, but my values informed my needs.
For example, I value presence with myself and others. So when I became connected to my true needs, the first one that became clear was that I would only enter a relationship with a man who was incredibly present.
In the past, I sidelined this need and attracted a relationship with a man who was distracted and erratic. I told myself he was a ‘busy man’ and that I needed to be more understanding.
This only served to make my need ‘wrong’.
My need was true, so, I finally realised it wasn’t about him changing to meet my need because it became clear he had other priorities. Instead, I needed to choose myself, fully meet my own need, and then choose a more aligned and present partner, remembering that I was worthy of it all along.
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